i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
