What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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