Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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