You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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