Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize