and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
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I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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