The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
