I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
