I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
