i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I touched a dick in church today
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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