I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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