end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He felt like a one man threesome
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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