playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
