so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
