porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
we should paint friendship bongs
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