He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
