puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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