So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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