your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
