guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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