I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Rumble strips road head = magical
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
