I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize