Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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