he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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