this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
