My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
