Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
