I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
either way he was missing a nipple.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize
