i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
