Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
