it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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