I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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