out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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