put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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