After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
