You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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