Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
two words: eviction party
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
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It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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