i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
