Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
