I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
