So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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