I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
