She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
