Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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