nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
