there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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