Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
