YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I could fuck to npr.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
