You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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