Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize