If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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