The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
