it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
