Kiss
Puke
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
