Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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