Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
