He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
false alarm. still invincible.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize