So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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