i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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