we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
